2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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