can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
