You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
