Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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