last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
