Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
