did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
we're so committed to being not committed
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
