Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
