my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
