Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
