just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
