tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
