he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
