tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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