He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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