And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
