you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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