i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
