no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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