Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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