I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
