You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
