I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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