The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
