OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
