I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
