I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
