does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
