My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
