MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
