his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
