Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Randomize
