I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
