oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
