If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I deserve this hangover.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
