if i can run in heels then i can drive
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
