Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
