So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
