Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
