so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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