Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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