piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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