NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
