i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
