I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm passing your future prison.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
