I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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