Redeem this text for a blowjob
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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