I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
