where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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