What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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