I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
