i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
